----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shelving unit We finally put together the shelf we bought for the bathroom. It's such a small space that in order to have a shelf in there we have to turn sideways between the toilet and the shelf to get into the bathroom now. I also noticed the bathroom door hits the toilet, which I guess I never noticed since we didn't have to open the door as far to get into the room without the shelf there. We are limited on options if we want to screw the hand shower into the wall and put up some curtains so we can have a shower instead of just a bathtub. I would be OK with just a tub, after 3 years of living here I am used to it, but I feel we need a shower so I can encourage my husband to be more conscientious of his hygiene. That's a mean thing to say, but it's the truth. I realize schizophrenic people often have an issue with hygiene, but it's very difficult for me sometimes to have to live with it. I usually shut my mouth about it but every now and then I have to ask him to please try to take care of himself. I try hard not to be a jerk about it. I don't think he understands how much this affects me. And it pisses me off how he goes from taking literally 6 hour showers and scraping all his skin off with a flea comb while being psychotic on meth to not bathing for weeks at a time. The meds he's on really make him a zombie and I get really angry that there can't be a middle ground. Between psychotic and zombie. I know we all have good days and bad, but it's difficult having two severely mentally ill people together, with no help, sometimes. Sometimes we just push each other and feed off each other's moods. I know if he could hop in and out of a shower, this wouldn't be as big of an issue. At least I hope so. He said he would like a shower, so I am basically remodeling the little bathroom to make that happen as best I can on my own. So I guess in order to have a shower we sacrifice floor space so we can take the shelves off the wall above the tub. I do not want to put shelving on the wall next to the tub because the wall material is very difficult to drill into, we would definitely have to find studs to hold the weight, and I think having shelves on the wall so close to the door would cause more problems than a free standing shelf. I could see us hitting our heads on the shelf on the wall, and it would be an issue of coming into the room and having a bulky shelf right there. I would feel bad. Like running into a wall or something. This house has a lot of problems. It's obvious that people used to live a lot differently than they do now. Maybe they were just willing to put up with more inconveniences or maybe they were smaller (not so fat) or maybe this house was just really cheap. It's a small house, but I am thankful I'm not in an apartment or on the street. Our apartment in Denver only had a shower, and it was disgusting. It was like stepping into a gas chamber. It still gives me nightmares. Lately my nightmares have been less scary and just more weird. I hope it means I am getting over some recent shit. I have a therapy appointment on Wednesday. I haven't seen her since November. I cancelled my January appointments because of the weather. We will see if she gives me shit for that, or if we actually start doing some EMDR work. The last time I saw her she said I needed to work on coping skills for stress on my own before she could help me. I've been struggling with coping skills for stress all of my life, lady. That's part of the problem. The new shelving is a big change. It's OK, will get used to it. But it feels weird. I was sitting at the table and I felt like there was a shelf behind me. Like the shelf was alive and stalking me through the house, waiting to pounce. 2:05 PM - Saturday, Feb. 10, 2024 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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