----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- bad dream I had such a horrific dream last night. It was so vivid that it seemed real. I also experienced some sleep paralysis, which is terrifying unto itself. At one point I knew it was a dream, but I wasn't able to wake up and it was like the dream was actually happening because I was conscious, but still dreaming, and it was so vivid. The details about the door, especially. The curtain, the smell of the old wood, all of it. I'm in the living room. It's night. All the curtains are closed. I have one low watt bulb on (like I normally do at night). I'm drunk. I'm choosing music to hear. Only instead of tapes or CDs or LPs the music is like stickless incense. It's colored like hiking boot shoestrings. Some of the sticks are broken but I know that they will still play if I take the time to line up the colors and am careful about putting them into the player. I'm working on doing just that. Then there is a loud knocking on the front door. It's urgent, panicked. I am instantly anxious. I didn't hear the gate in the yard open or hear footsteps on the deck and it's otherwise silent, so it makes me nervous. This person wanted to take me by surprise. I think about trying to ignore it but they won't stop banging. Reluctantly I go to the door and pull back the curtain to see who it is. It's very late. Very dark. Inside it's dim but outside it's totally black. For some reason I don't turn on the porch light. I see a figure of a man standing right next to the window on the door. That means he's already opened the screen door and is knocking on the inside door. This makes me even more anxious. The man is a total shadow yet somehow I can make out that he's about my height and he's wearing a fedora type hat. His face is across from mine, just on the other side of the glass. Only he has no features. And his hat seems to be part of his body. He is a shadowman and he is angry. He stares at me for a moment and then keeps knocking while staring at me. I know it would be a bad idea to let him in or even open the door to talk with him. Then he starts trying to open the door. He's jiggling the handle and trying to force the dead bolt to move but both are locked. The whole door is shaking but he can't get in. He keeps trying. I suddenly remember have a screwdriver in my hand. Maybe I was using it to try and fix the music player? I'm drunk and for some reason I start to taunt the shadowman by pretending to stab him in the face over and over. He stops what he is doing and stands there shocked for a moment. His reaction makes me laugh and I keep miming that I'm going to stab him. He starts banging his palms against the glass on the window right across from my face, like he wants me stop what I'm doing. He gets really agitated that I don't stop. He goes back to knocking on the door and trying to open it and he's kicking it now, also. The door is creaking and shaking and I get worried that maybe he will be able to force his way in somehow. I don't know what he wanted originally, but I know now that I made him angry and he now wants to hurt me for sure, and maybe even my husband. I drop the door curtain and run to the bedroom. My husband is passed out, drunk and somehow hasn't heard any of the knocking. I'm shaking him, begging him to get up, asking him what he thinks we should do. But he's not responsive and I get really scared. I don't remember what happened after that. I think I was able to wake myself up. When I woke up, I was lying in bed too scared to move for awhile. I wanted to check and make sure the front door was locked, but I couldn't move. I was listening if there was someone in the house. It was really late and it was silent. I finally got up and the front door was locked. Everything was fine. There wasn't anyone in the house that shouldn't be. But I began to wonder if someone had been knocking and it made it into my dream like that. Or if someone did try to get in the house but it was all locked up so they gave up. Or if there was some other dimensional thing going on. That something wanted my attention or is out to get me somehow. I don't know, but I'm still pretty freaked out. 3:31 PM - Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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