----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- permanent taking my vitamin D like a good little drone. still nightly tremors. shaking. I am so tired. It only happens when I lie down. Spent money I didn't have on a new latex topper for the bed. Extra Firm because I'm plus size. Like, you're so fat you're a plus one everywhere you go. You're like two normal sized women squeezed into one grotesque body. You're fat, but you're so fucked in the head you think you're fatter than you are and had to return all the 4x clothes you bought because you were swimming in them. They make you look even fatter. But your feet are getting smaller for some reason. Maybe the twitching is just PTSD. maybe that's why it only happens when I'm laying down. Maybe it has something to do with sleeping in as small of a ball as possible squeezed over on the edge of the bed with my neck twisted in all sorts of awful ways. With your clothes laying out on the floor in a such a way that you can grab them and put them on in the pitch dark in case you have to jump up and run out of the house for whatever reason. Fill in the blank. Put out the lawn ornaments. It's Iowa, it's obligatory you have at least one statue in your yard. It was about 80 degrees yesterday. I really don't know how much gardening I am going to get to this year. Lilies and other plants are coming up through the sod they put down. WTF. I thought sod was supposed to choke out all the plants. I have to pop those out and find a home for them now. I am trying not to be angry because there are flowers in my yard. Mostly I just want to sleep but sleep eludes me because my body won't stop vibrating in a hellish way. I am tempted to take whatever medicine the shrink recommends just so I can sleep. Maybe I can get in to see a chiropractor. Maybe someone will shoot me. 3:41 PM - Monday, Apr. 11, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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