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common sense isn't so common
I keep looking at the news from back "home". Groups of people playing soccer, parades in the streets. People delivering groceries to the shut in, but not wearing gloves or masks. It's still like that. Even today, April first.
I don't know. I really don't. I am not paranoid, but I am not stupid, and all this seems to me that Rochester, Minnesota, home of the Mayo clinic, is insane.
The clinic was doing drive-thru virus checks as far back as March 5th, maybe even earlier. My husband went to the doctor 8 times between then and the middle of March, including one stop at the ER, and they didn't swab him ONCE. That's right. He and I were both sitting at the Mayo clinic ER, he was brought in for a cough even, and not once did they swab him for the virus. After we got to Colorado, we read that they were now swabbing everyone who was a patient, or came to visit a patient at the clinic, for the virus. My mind boggles. It really does.
They knew this was coming, but they didn't seem to care until it was too late?
And then there's me. I don't get a vacation for 25 years, and when I can finally take one, there's a fucking worldwide pandemic.Literally the day after we leave, they issue a national emergency and the day after we get to our destination, they start closing everything up. So, I get stuck in a state 900 miles from home. I am living at an airbnb. And in a few hours, I am going to a Planned Parenthood because I have something wrong with me.
Yeast infection, STD, Bacterial infection? I don't know. I have never had any of those, so I don't know. I am usually really healthy. I tried OTC treatments, and I'm still suffering, so I don't really have much choice, except to keep suffering and risk letting whatever is happening turn into something major. Is it stupid to risk getting a deadly virus to cure some other issue? I don't know. Life doesn't stop because the government says it does. You can still get abortions, but that isn't my problem since I haven't had sex since sometime last August. I go on vacay, finally, and get some weird new infection. Just lovely. I am thankful I can get in to see someone during all this.
I know this is lame, but I am really beginning to wonder what kind of karma I racked up from my previous life, because what I am dealing with in this one is just fucking awful. It really is. I was beyond my breaking point months before all this started, and this is not helping. I must have been a nazi or something.
But I continue to survive. Iowa doesn't even have a stay at home order yet, according to my brothers. I think there needs to be a better way to live. A middle ground between total panic and isolation and the apathy and disregard found in the Midwest.
I am supposed to drive us back to MN next Monday. We have an apartment here. It's empty, but it's ours. I have a home back in the midwest, but I don't want it. I have so much going on. Everyone else is in lockdown, and I am stuck between homes, not safe anywhere, just trying to keep it together, stay healthy, make good choices, when NONE of my options are ideal. I'm scared to stay here, I'm scared to go back "home". I am scared we are going to get stuck on the road because we can't get gas or something. I don't know.
I try not to watch the news too much. I think the government is in many ways making things worse. In other ways, not doing enough. I am still hoping life will resume, eventually. This is the weirdest thing ever. I hope everyone is healthy and safe. Just wait at home for your check from the government. How are they going to pay for that? Are we calling off the bombings and the wars? I don't know. The only news I can seem to find is virus virus virus. It makes me wonder what else is going on that they really don't want you to know.
I'm sitting here, writing because I am nervous, scared, sick, uncomfortable, and it's a distraction. There is still internet, netflix, water, sewer, electricity, garbage pick up, doctor's appointments, grocery stores, cabbies, bus routes. There are still bills to pay, cats to feed, clothes to wash.
11:35 AM - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2020
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