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arkansas music pavillion
The more I obsess about how overweight I am, the more I want to eat junk food, because junk food was the first drug I experienced (as is with most people). Sugar is like cocaine, I hear. Worse. Easier to get, that's for sure. And it sure does make you fat.
I could just be like my husband and take "allergy medicine" to lose weight. Yeah, really? You are calling it allergy medicine now? That's just beyond fucked. I don't know why I agreed to work this out over the winter, because nothing is going to get worked out. Last ditch effort at delusion, but it's obvious to me every day how hopeless this all is.
So I watch this awesome Ween concert from 2008 and see how fat Aaron Freeman was at that time, and how totally fucking awesome he still was, and it makes me feel a little better. Until he starts slamming the booze. Man, he drank so much and by the end of that show he can barely keep his eyes open but he's still performing like a fucking rock star, because you know, he is. But that's sad. I am glad he's sober now.
I have surgery on Monday that I already put off from a month ago. So, I hope they won't damage my eyes when they cut the cysts of my eyelids. They have told me NOTHING about this, but I waned to get this done when I have insurance.
Then during the week sometime I have to take in my medical renewal application to the county, drop off hazard waste at the recycling center (old toner cartridges and paint cans and batteries), take my medical records to the local SSDI office way on the other side of town, and make sure my SSDI application gets in the mail to Utah on Tuesday.
I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. I have to massacre my neighbors, set the dairy on fire, and make sure my cat has kibble in her bowl.
I don't even remember the last time I was in my art studio. I don't know how to do any of this anymore.
10:34 PM - Saturday, Nov. 09, 2019
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