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behind the safe place
I think, that as a (fairly) intelligent woman, it kept doctors from giving me proper mental health care, including, but not limited to, improper or neglected diagnosis.
I didn't realize that modern psychiatry was on a sliding scale. Because I'm not flinging my feces or because I don't have an eating disorder, I am OK. Because I am not the worst they have seen, then I don't merit help.
And the gender thing really did come into it a lot. I called the last shrink on it. Why the doctors were all so ready to give me anti-depression medication. Say I have MDD. But not do anything about hallucinations, voices, or other psychotic traits. Not do anything about manic behavior, because it's not manic ENOUGH (for example, I sleep a little bit every night no matter what).
Because women are “weepy” and get depressed more often than they are schizophrenic or manic.
Eh. It's all pointless anyway. I am really fed up with people defining themselves by their disorders. Remember when people just used to be people? All fucked up with their own strengths and their own faults. Individuals with individual experiences and existences...
Psychology and it's bastard cousin Psychiatry are total pseudo-sciences. I don't have faith in them. I do not see a single person who has truly been helped by them. And I am totally done trying find any kind of healing or recognition in that fucked up jungle of a system.
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I just deleted some really negative words in this space. Because it's not how I really think. It's just a reaction to my experiences with psychiatry. Man, that shit can really fuck you up.
And see...too smart to just accept their programming, so there's nothing they can do for me.
3:56 PM - Thursday, Dec. 13, 2018
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