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I'm the asshole
This is the last year I send anything to anyone ever.
No more bday gifts. No happy fucking holidays.
I mean it. I am totally done.
I am done thinking anyone gives a shit about anything, because they don't.
And it just keeps hurting to expect otherwise.
No one cares, now I don't either. It will take time, but I'll adapt.
It's not the things. I'm an over-gifter. I learned that from an early age.
I don't give a shit about getting things. Please, don't send me anything in return. I don't need more stuff.
It's the lack of respect.
I sent my middle brother the first of the t-shirt quilts made from mom and dad's shirts, and he ignores me trying to get ahold of him. 3 days of silence and finally I got a one line text from him. OK. Whatever. I thought he might be in rehab or dead. Fuck me for caring. I sent the quilt. That's it. I am DONE.
And it's not just him. Like, 5 other people are blanking me. So, maybe I'm over reacting, but go fuck yerselves.
It's giving me a complex!
So, I'm done chasing after people who obviously just aren't capable of caring. I know I'm pathetic and useless, but clinging to the hope that someone will actually give a shit is just making everything worse.
I am going to die alone and get eaten by rats and that's just how it is.
4:21 PM - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2018
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