----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- don't read this I had an appointment with the Department of Transportation on Wednesday to get my Iowa driver's license. My MN ID expires next month on my birthday, so I need to get a new one. I am not driving, so I just decided to wait until the last minute to get a new ID. No reason to give the government any more money than I have to. I was going to take a cab, because it's been hot as fuck. It's a 4 mile walk and I haven't yet gotten the courage to try the bus system. I called the cab company one hour before my DOT appointment and they said they were all booked up for the day and weren't offering any more rides. What the actual fuck? I mean, really. What kind of town is this when the only cab company decides they have enough business for the day? They charge an outrageous amount in the first place. Minimum fair is over $10. So, I have vowed to not rely on the cabs here. Fuck them. If they are going to charge that much AND have such a poor work ethic they can suck it. I'm not giving them any more of my cash and I'm not going to let myself get stressed out relying on shitheads. I was able to reschedule my DOT for next Wednesday. I had a chiropractor appointment, but I cancelled that. I was going to take a cab to that too, but now I'm not going anywhere if I have to take a cab. The doctor probably would have paralyzed me anyway, knowing my luck. As long as I get a new driver's license before mine expires, I'll be OK. I hope I get a better photo this time. That's part of why I wanted to get a cab ride, so I'm not completely soaked in sweat, burning red, and basically look like I was beaten with a flaming bag of oranges. My last ID photo was the worst one ever, and the worker at the government center in Roch wouldn't let me retake it, even though I asked her if I could. They let you see the photo right away, and I asked if I could take it over and she was like, we don't have time for that. She was just a typical Rochester cunt. There was plenty of time. Today I had to scrape cat shit off the basement floor. The basement floor is still coated with sewage from when the main drain burst and my brother didn't clean it up. I have scrubbed it about a dozen different times now. Every few months I go down there and have to clean up cat shit and I start scraping and disinfecting the floor. It's so horribly disgusting. I can't take it anymore. I think I will go to the hardware store and get a gallon of BIN disinfectant primer and paint over the floor. I don't know if that will work or what but I have to do something. It's like, part of the floor, even though I have disinfected with literally gallons of cleaner, and I worry about my cat walking around on it (and then walking all over the house, too). I don't blame my cat for taking a dump on the floor. To her, the whole basement probably smells like shit, so she's like, why bother? I am really just sick of cleaning up shit from people that have been dead for years. I am still angry at my brother for letting it get so bad the stack burst (even though I had warned him it was cracked) and for not cleaning it afterward, so after I moved all the disgusting things out, there is all was, encrusted to the floor in a permanent layer of vile horror. Maybe. Maybe it's fine and it's just stained and I'm seeing it worse than it is. I don't know. I have cleaned it and cleaned it and cleaned it and it just never seems to get clean. I have been so angry about having to live here lately. I've been depressed and angry and really wondering why I try so fucking hard? My life is ruined, my life is over. I get to clean up dead people's shit and mow the god damn yard and have a taxi company give me fucking attitude. It's all uphill from now on forever. Nothing will ever be easy. Everything will just be coated in that disgusting sewage of what once was hope. Crackheads across the street will steal my lawn decor, my packages. People will kill my plants. People will get away with murder and will not only have no consequences, they will get rewards. Everything, all the time, will be a violation from now until the last fucking breath. And even that won't be easy. I'm trying to be thankful I'm not the street. I'm trying to take care of myself so I don't have endless health problems. I'm trying, and I wonder...why prolong the suffering? 5:42 PM - Friday, Jun. 24, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||