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Irma Vep
This fad of the twin flame thing is getting out of control. Not saying it's not a real thing, but the new-agey positive vibration 11:11 crystal wearing tarot reading shitheads are really taking that gimmick and lining their pockets, preying on everyone's need to have that true love fairy tale ending.
Fuck that shit. Are there really that many people walking around out there with only part of a soul? Is that why most people are such fucking assholes? Is that why there are so many people in existence at all?
I'm a whole person. Even with all those soul pieces I left all over the place. They are still mine, I can go get them. I plan to, eventually. Eh. I am connected to everything and everyone all the time, even when I forget this. And the times when it's made clear to me, it's often too much to deal with.
"I'm looking for something to make me feel nothing."
Because nothing is all there is.
So when all these tarot readers that tell me I should be prepared for some big bomb of communication in June are totally fucking WRONG I get to allow myself to give into the nihilistic dark side, RIGHT?
I remember that place. It's warm and comfortable and I get as many cookies as I want.
I dug up the prickly pear cactus from the yard yesterday and put it in a pot and I spent all of this morning digging cactus spikes out of my body. I ask myself why I am bothering trying to save any plants? Everyone has made it clear that no one cares except me.
How do you get to be indifferent? Fake it til you make it? Just tell yourself that you are indifferent and tell everyone who cares about you that until it's reality? A negative affirmation? Or, is it drugs? Maybe I should do those drugs and I will finally be able to not give a shit anymore either.
Not giving a shit sounds pretty nifty right now.
Accept the things I can not change. OK. I can't change a damn thing, except myself.
No one will recognize the "new" me.
7:17 PM - Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2021
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