-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
s.o.s.
The guy at the music studio asked my husband to keep the noise down. Fuck this shit. He's paying $500 a month for a studio that isn't even finished or up to code and now he's not supposed to make any noise? WTF is he paying for?! We are both so violently pissed off right now. He drank way too much last night and now he's sick, and I don't blame him at all.
Now, for the 4th time this year, we get to move his studio. AGAIN. Last time it took 5 trips in a rental van. I honestly don't know where we are going to find the energy to do this. And he's supposed to be on lease, but fuck that. The guy sells coke and pot out of his studio, lets people live in there, and one of them has a kid. I should really call CPS, but I don't know what's right and what's wrong in cases of that. This kid's life is already ruined, is putting him in a state run foster home going to help? Maybe. I don't know.
My husband keeps sapping our money away by bad decisions and I am getting fed up. And now we have to hurry hurry to get the basement cleared out so he can put his studio down there. I am so very very angry.
We have no where else to put all that crap in the basement except in the garage, and that's almost full. And we have to go to the DAV yet AGAIN. That's 2 minivans full and at least 4 carloads so far, plus everything we sold at the yard sale plus all the hundreds of things we just gave away at the curb. I am angry at my parents for being hoarders and I'm angry that I am the one that has to deal with this on top of everything else I have to deal with day in and day out.
I would just put everything on the curb, but I am sick of the crackheads in the neighborhood hanging around outside.
Last night on the way home from Walgreens I walk by a car by my house and have to see some guy's butt as he's fucking someone. Broad daylight, right on the street, in the front seat. I started screaming, "I can see you, you are fucking in public, crackhead, crackhead." But, that didn't stop them. I really hope this wasn't some sort of rape or something. Buy some crack across the street, fuck some crackwhore, go to the gas station, just a normal day in Iowa.
I am so so so tired and angry and so close to just walking to the hospital and saying just lock me up. I give up. I'm not supposed to be here. I can't deal with this amount of shit.
2:12 PM - Tuesday, Dec. 08, 2020
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------