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freak out
A moment of quiet before back to work. Maybe food, then back to work. Loading up U-haul box pod things. Three in the driveway. So many trips up and down stairs. Mostly my husband and Big K doing that. I've been packing packing packing delicate items and music and art. Packing and packing and the two guys take it out to the boxes and I think we are all about ready to drop.I loaded up most of a box this morning though. It's not easy. And this place has nothing on the walls and it sounds weird and the cat is anxious and the realtor is being kind of unreasonable and for some reason U-haul keeps pressuring us on when we are going to have the boxes hauled away. When we are good and fucking ready, that's the fucking point. We paid for a month, we get at least a month. If it takes longer than that, charge us. Easy peasy. Not sure why everyone is being an ass except I think everyone is freaking out because of the stay at home order.
Staying at home doesn't bother me. It's the going out that is freaky. I saw people were protesting the stay at home order somewhere in the US. New Jersey, maybe? It's insane. THAT is what motivates people to take to the streets? Not being able to go all willy nilly to bars and shopping and having kids be home all year? It's embarrassing to be an American most of the time.
I walked in on the guys doing the hard stuff and I just wanted to smash their faces in, but I need help moving, so I can't do a damn thing. Now Big K won't look me in the face and my husband is getting psychotic again. Not sure when the good time would be to tell him that I will give him one more year of my life. This one year in Colorado. But if he can't get his shit together, I'm gone.
Guess I will wait until we get there. I am so not up to all this, but I have to keep going. I don't like this. I don't like this. I don't.
3:35 PM - Friday, Apr. 17, 2020
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