-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
window air unit
I was away for over a week, and I started to feel pretty great. Even though I got heat exhaustion and a wicked sunburn, I was eating well and taking care of myself. It took me that whole week to eat the chocolate bar I brought with me, even. I can eat one of those in an entire sitting at home.
But, two days after I got home, all my addictions were triggered. ALL. OF. THEM. ten weeks of sobriety gone, smoking again, drinking coffee every day all day. Even went back on facebook after months away.
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I don't give a shit. I have nothing to celebrate. I never asked to be born, I don't want to be alive, anyone in my family who would go out of their way to wish me a good day is dead. Friends? nope.
It's not a pity party. It's just reality. My reality is shit. I have to choose between my marriage or my life. It's like, your money or your life, but more serious.
I guess when your husband says he'll go to therapy, stop drinking, and stop doing meth, and he does none of those things, you just give up on everything.
He can say as often as he likes that our relationship is the most important thing, but his actions prove the opposite.
Well, I'm fucked, and that is all. It's a lose/ lose situation.
Happy birthday you fat old ugly fool. Hope you choke on your own vomit and die.
4:46 PM - Wednesday, Jul. 10, 2019
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------