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I tried to go out today to renew the tabs for my car, but I gave up trying to scrape the ice off the windshield. I just paid online, even though I probably won't get the tabs before Feb 1st. I really don't care. I just won't drive until I get them in the mail.
It's almost -30 below wind chill out there. It's shitty. Winter in the midwest drags on and on sometimes. It's the heart of it now. It seems like it will never end.
I am thankful that I can just decide to come back inside, and stay here until I run out of food, then try to go back out. That won't be for about a week. So, I get to stay in and do nice things like read, watch TV shows, eat popcorn.
I am obviously feeling better. Not perfect, but yeah, almost like a human being again.
But, my husband isn't feeling well today. He totally sucks the life out of me when he's sick. He sucks the life out of me almost every day, I've come to realize.
If I have a sore throat, or cough up blood from just coughing so much, well, he's just like la-di-dah, you're sick, so what. If anything, he acts annoyed that I am sick. But, if he gets a little ill, he acts like the world should come to an end and no one has ever been as sick as him ever.
He's a really bad sick person. He can't take care of himself, and no matter what I do to help, it's not good enough.
I really enjoyed the day and a half alone when he was gone before he started complaining about being sick. I felt at peace for the first time in a long time. He is constantly complaining about one thing or another, and it's getting old. Really old.
He needs to learn to appreciate what he has. Life is fucked. We're all fucked. Either kill yourself or just accept it and try to find some happiness with what we got left.
Just stop complaining. I can't take the negativity much longer.
Yeah, that's about it.
4:18 PM - Friday, Jan. 25, 2019
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