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life is for the living

If my husband and I both died here, it would be months before anyone knew.

Maybe even years.

It would be the utility company that would eventually have to call the cops because of a strange smell, but they let you rack up months worth of debt before they even think about sending someone to your home.

And even then, they'd just stick a notice on your front door and walk away when no one answered.

We never have any visitors. NEVER. There is no one who would be concerned when the text was not responded to or the door was not answered.

All family lives hundreds if not THOUSANDS of miles away.

What are the odds of both of us dying?

Gas leak. Murder/ suicide. Overdose.

Better than most couples, I think.

My existence would be a passing thought in people's minds.

What ever happened to...

Why doesn't she ever call me back...

I wonder how whatshername is doing...

Oh well...

And then it's back to business as usual

and eventually

those flashes of who I was

to anyone

would cease to be

and then

so

would

I.

I need to unplug for awhile. A good long while.

Just disappear. This box and this false sense of community are making me sick.

There is nothing in or out of this world that will care when I disappear.

No self-pity.

Just the fucking truth.

9:56 PM - Saturday, Oct. 27, 2018

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