----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dump I tried to mow the lawn today and halfway through my mower stopped working. I was already stressed, and now I'm just at a loss. It's an electric mower, we have 2 sets of brand name batteries and 2 sets of generic. I didn't have problems until I switched over to the generic so I am hoping that's the problem and the mower itself hasn't crapped out on us already. It's only been a year (I think). We had the same brand, only smaller back in MN and it lasted us for years. For all I know someone is still using it, because we left it at the house. I am charging up the brand name batteries right now and hopefully they will work and I can finish the lawn later. The grass got really tall because of the heat and rain and although I don't give a shit, I know my neighbors do. My brother said he's bring his mower over and help me finish the yard tonight, so at least the lawn will be mowed. It's really nice of him to always help out like that. I hope it's not the motor or something. We'd have to get a new lawn mower. It's not the only reason I'm stressed. We are totally broke. Having to buy a new mower is a bad situation. We don't even have enough in savings to pay the property taxes this year. That's pretty much our rent. My brother pays it and then we pay him. It comes to about $250 a month, and I try to set that aside, but I've been so bad with money lately and now we are behind. I'm sure my brother would work something out with me, but I don't want to be in this situation. We also have to pay the utilities. Except water, because my brother doesn't want to have to call the water company and get it put into my name. He's well off enough to just pay it for us and save himself the stress. I asked every few weeks for several months once we got here, but then I stopped asking. I can't call them myself, he has to call them. So, I just let him pay it. We have been having to use the credit card to get the food, cat food, home goods (TP, Dish soap, etc) but then I pay it off every month. Still, we are a month behind. Today I get an email from the credit card company saying "Congrats! We raised your limit almost $2,000!" That's a bad sign. That's a sign that we are fucked. Once they start doing that dirty trick, you know you need to change your life. We only have the one card now, not the dozen or so we had when we filed bankruptcy. But still. If we have to get a new lawn mower, that will be a balance on the card and that means interest and that is such a bad place to be. It's all my fault. This time. I'm in charge of the money. I've been spending a lot on crap. It's crap. I know it's crap. And we got in a bad habit of eating out. Once we found places with veg-o food, and they bring it right to your door, well we took advantage of that. But, it's a bad habit. So many bad habits. Very anxious about having to get back out in the heat, try to get the mower to work. Maybe have to get my brother involved. He can't be out in the heat, either. And it is WAY hotter today than they predicted. At least it feels like it. I got so overheated this morning while mowing I thought I might die. I used to get overheated at work and people would say it looked like I just ran a marathon. Thanks for the bad genetics, ancestors. I ordered a pair of new shoes, because I finally figured out my size, and they never showed up. It said it was delivered, but the package isn't here. Either the FedEX guy took it to the wrong house and the a-hole just kept it. OR it is the driver that instead of bringing packages to the door, he throws them over the side fence and someone just reached over and took it. OR maybe the driver stole the package. So, I have to pay for them, but now I'm waiting for the shoe store to file a claim. But I will probably just be out $40. This mercury retrograde is really fucking with me big time. I also feel like I could start bleeding any second. I don't care how awful menopause is, I am anxious to have this monthly torture be over. My stomach hurts, yet I am always hugry, my back hurts yet I have to do a bunch of chores, I'm crying all the time, I can't handle any stress. I have to call the pharmacy to get my prescriptions sent to the house. I wonder if I should take them. But I worry about the weight gain, the diabetes, the high blood pressure, the high cholesterol. Especially since my doctor hasn't mentioned getting me monitored at all. I've only spoken with her over the phone, but it's obvious she doesn't really care about my health. She's just a government sponsored drug dealer just like any other shrink out there. At least there are new episodes of Kids In the Hall. We watched two of the new shows last night on Amazon video. They were OK. Not great. It was nice to see them again, though. It's comforting they are all still alive. It's funny how different people look when they get old from when they were young. Life is really hard. Even when it's easy. It's not easy. 2:43 PM - Saturday, May. 14, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||