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way

Went out for a coffee today. I haven't had coffee in a few weeks. I have noticed less tremors happening at night without the caffeine but I sure have been having withdrawals. So I have been working on projects I've been wanting to do for many years now. Finally get time and a place to work on things again. And...I am not planning on sleeping tonight. So I am hoping I will get more done here soon. I have to decide which fear is greatest. The fear of what the medication will do to me. And that never ending cycle of drugs and doctors and being a good little mental drone. OR the fear of not being compliant and having to find some other way to make my little $600 a month pittance. I'm not sure. I'm really not sure. I wish someone could make decisions for me. I am so tired of making decisions. All the time. Every day. What to eat, what to wear, what to do....it never fucking stops.

10:23 PM - Sunday, Apr. 24, 2022

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