----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what you're saying is you're lonely I don't know if it's my mental illnesses or what, but I get so overwhelmed with all the STUFF here. Still. After all the hard work, it's still squeezing out of the seams like a fat old lady trying to wear a dress from high school. It makes me feel gross like that. It's like it breeds at night like mice. I think I've got it to a level I can deal with and then I look at it and it's a mountain again. I put things out for free but not one single person has stopped by to look at it. I was hoping someone would take all this signed pottery and candle holders and candy jars and rice bowls and cute little wood boxes but I guess people around here just want drugs and fast food and that's it. I don't want to leave it out overnight because I think some shithead would think it's fun to smash it all up in the street. I like all this stuff, but I can't have it around me anymore. After my parents died, and I brought all that stuff home, and then I moved across country. And I moved again. And I had to clean out their hoard of 50+ years more or less alone. I don't want anything in my life that I am not using on a regular basis or that has ***extreme*** sentimental memories attached too. Good memories only. I don't have many good memories and I don't really have that much personal stuff anymore, either. Just because something is pretty doesn't mean I need to have it around. Just because something should have value doesn't mean that it actually does. I am going to have 4 large boxes and one black garbage bag full to bursting of donations for Salvation Army, but I have to have it around for 2 weeks. It's out of the way but my OCD is in full on mode and I keep churning the stuff and adding to it and taking things away and then putting them back... I went through all the stuff I was planning on selling on eBay and I narrowed it down to things that aren't so fragile, that will sell over a certain dollar amount, and things that have the potential to sell quickly. That got rid of a lot of stuff. It's nice stuff. If the me of 5 years ago had seen boxes of this stuff out on the curb for free I would have busted my back trying to carry it all home. Now I'm making myself kind of sick just trying to get it out of my life for good. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to have to keep running an eBay store for much longer. I want to focus on my art and writing and on myself. Trying to take care of myself, because that hasn't been a priority for like...ever. I still have an attic closet full of stuff to clean out and/ or sell but I need a break from it. I need a break from everything. I had to check out for awhile. I don't know exactly where I went, but I have another round trip ticket to use so I'll do that now. 3:20 PM - Sunday, Aug. 14, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||