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Roses, et cetera

I've been trying to stay on top of weeding the remaining flower beds, keeping the grass short, being out in the yard as much as possible considering the heat and the humidity.

All the roses we transplanted last summer started putting out leaves well, but then they started yellowing and shriveling up. I had to aerate the soil by pushing a weed popper down into the soil, which put a pretty nasty sore in the middle of my hand because the soil in that area is so compact and clay-like, which is a big part of the problem for roses. I was trying to go out far enough where I wouldn't cut the roots off, and I think I did OK with that part of things. My hand is still healing up, though.

Then, I put some organic 4-4-4 plant food with beneficial enzymes as a top dress and then I dug out compost from the bin and did a top dress of that. Finally I found some neem oil spray and for the last 2 weeks I've been spraying the leaves with that. They are doing much, much better. All are flowering or about to flower, the yellowing has stopped, the mold spot has stopped spreading, they are not losing any more leaves.

They say roses are temperamental, but these have had a lot of stress. First from being moved from a location they've been in for decades and having some of their roots being cut, being moved in summer, being moved to a less than ideal soil location...I'm doing my best to keep them alive. It's a challenge.

I can relate. I've been moved around too much in the last few years too. And I live here, which is where I lived before, but it's not the same. Different enough to stress me out.

It would have been better if we could have prepped the area more before we moved the Roses, but we didn't have time before the bulldozers came. It would have been nice to not feel like I was threatened and that my life was in danger and not have had to leave two locations in one year and get rid of a lot of my stuff in the process.

I'd like to get Raspberry plants, but that will have to wait until later. I am going to lay down cardboard soon and start killing the grass, prepping the area and hopefully we will be able to afford them next year and they will have a good area to start.

All our peonies are flowering, which is a surprise since I read it would take at least 3 years for that to happen. I put tomato cages around them this morning to help them not bend over in the winds from the weight of the flowers.

Our peach tree has peaches on it already too, which is really cool. If you stand near it, it smells like peaches.

Pretty much most of what I've been doing or thinking about lately is taking care of the plants that are left, and considering what I want to do for the future. It keeps me occupied, helps me get outside, and lets me ignore how totally depressing and awful the rest of my life is.

I'm trying to have that attitude of gratitude they all say is good for your mental health. I have to talk with my shrink in two days. Has it been 4 weeks already? She gave me Trazadone to take as needed to help me sleep, but I have had such bad luck with SSRI type drugs that I haven't taken it. Even as needed.

I'm considering trying Melatonin.

I have stopped taking the Vitamin D the doctor told me to and my tremors have decreased so much. I have been trying to think of when my tremors started, what changed in my life, what could be the cause. I have to sit and do all this myself, because the doctors didn't do shit.

I looked at the vitamin label and one pill has 313% if the daily value of Vitamin D in it. It's obviously too much for me. I started taking a multi vitamin that has some, but much less Vitamin D3 in it, and it's helping me feel quite a bit better.

So, this is just more empirical data that doctors don't know shit. At least, that's the conclusion I am drawing from this.

I asked my shrink last time about who I should talk to about getting an official diagnosis of Autism, and she thought it was a waste of my time. "There's no cure," she said. I had to hold myself back from saying that there is no cure for Bi-polar Disorder either, but I'm expected to treat the symptoms no matter what side effects it may cause.

Maybe I'm supposed to be exactly how I am. Side effects from a chemical imbalance, side effects from big pharma chemicals attacking my brain....lesser of two evils. The devil you know. Honeysuckle pie and a dose of whatsit.

3:15 PM - Tuesday, May. 31, 2022

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