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beggar's night
This weekend we rented a car. Two trips to the DAV for donations from this house. Full and I mean FULL car. Just enough room for me to see out the windows safely with the backseat packed, the trunk packed, and stuff sitting on my husband's lap.
Also two FULL car loads of broken down cardboard boxes. Some from us moving in, but there was also a mountain of boxes that my brother threw in the garage from the basement. Mice had gotten in there and chewed them up. They'd been sitting in the garage since before we had the first yard sale years ago. Some of the boxes were from Mayflower moving, which I think means they were from the mid 1960s when my parents moved back from Texas after my Dad was discharged from the Air Force. That's too long to hold onto a box.
Plus one more trip to my husband's music studio for the last of his things. The weekend before we rented a u-haul to move his equipment into his rental studio and it took 5 truckloads to get it all. And it still wasn't everything. It still isn't, but it's good enough for now.
I am still trying to move out my parents' things so I have room for my own. Still boxes everywhere. But it's getting better.
We are supposed to get the air ducts cleaned on Friday. Every time the heat turns out little poofs of dust come out. It's really bad. The mold fogging we got done really helped, but we still need to combat this dust issue. It won't completely be taken care of until every room has been scrubbed down and every item taken out or cleaned. But it's a big, big job. And I have been doing it for over a month now. Every single day except one, and I regret taking that day off.
It's a full time job, so I'm trying not to be angry that more didn't get done by my brother, but when he tells me specifically "the deep freeze is cleaned out, so you don't have to worry about that" and right after we get the roll-away dumpster taken away FULL I move all the crap off the freezer and find that it's at least half way full of food still....
Today I went through the funeral stuff from my mom and dad and found one of the keepsake urns with my dad's ashes in it. I'm assuming it must belong to brother and I am a little upset at the level of disrespect that he would just throw it in with paperwork to get buried under tons of stuff.
But then again, he did leave a full kerosene lamp in a box with other things in the middle of the house and I didn't notice what it was until most of it was spilled all over. I am so thankful we didn't burn to death. Or that the house didn't burn down when no one lived here. With the dust and all the papers and hoard and cardboard boxes everywhere...it's just luck.
When I was in Denver and freaking out on an edible I had a vision of sorts that it was my responsibility to move back into this house and correct the inherited karma of my family. Specifically, the karma of my grandma H, my mom's mom. The lady that bought this house with her husband brand new in the early 1940s. It was her dream home and she wanted the fairy tale life and she ended up divorced (in the 1940s, that was a shocking thing) and being quite the drunk and putting a lot of mental weight on my mom and it's just been passed on down the line.
I had a vision (for lack of a better word) that I was going to move here, make the house cozy and livable again, and heal the relationship I have with my husband and even though I am not having kids, that karma will spread down the family line.
But you know, I'm crazy, so there's that.
And tired. So very tired.
But, Friday is Beggars Night, unless it got cancelled from Covid. They trick or treat here on the 30th and call it Beggars Night (as opposed to Devil's Night, which is Halloween the 31st) and kids used to have to tell a joke before they got candy. I've never heard of a place besides here where that is how kids trick or treat, but I am tempted to give out candy (which I've never done) so I can hear "Why did the man throw the clock out the window?" five hundred times. This is a pretty tight-nit community, and having the yard sale helped people get to accept us more, maybe giving out candy will help too.
Even though I just want to sleep for a week straight.
4:45 PM - Monday, Oct. 26, 2020
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