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keeping it really awful
Well, we made it to the doctor and back without him attacking anyone. So, that's a victory. No bugs. Nothing has changed. He's dope sick crashing from I think a 5 day binge. I don't count anymore. What's the point?
I had an appointment to sell a necklace to someone off craigslist today at 11AM, that I almost forgot about. She was a real creep and stressed me out, even though she did buy it. But, she didn't give a shit about it, and when I asked her if she'd like a little paper bag or something, she said "NO, I'm just gonna throw it in the cup holder in my car." It was like a $300 necklace that I sold for $130 and she's just going to chuck it around in her gas guzzler. OK, well, it's hers now, but it bothered me. My mom kept it safe for decades and I took it personally when this lady was all la-di-da like it was from Claires or something. I probably shouldn't have sold it, but I did. Sorry, mom.
Pretty much everything she said to me bothered me. It was a fire opal from Australia, and I commented on how they will probably be pretty rare now considering what's going on down there. And she said, "Oh yeah, the fires, but I don't think so, this company is based in downtown Sydney." ??? Maybe she doesn't realize that opals are real stone from the earth, not made in a factory or something. I don't know. I had no response to that. Literally none. Not even a "huh" or an "Okaaaay." Because...I just can't continue to talk with retards anymore. My patience for bullshit is at zero.
And it stressed me out so much I forgot to put water in the coffee machine and now it's ruined. It smells like burnt aluminum in here. The coffee machine was pretty messed up anyway, we got it at a thrift store, and we could use a new one, but still...I am so stressed out all the time I can't even do simple things without messing them up.
It's the universe's way of telling me to cut back on the coffee, I guess. With my anxiety, I shouldn't drink it every day. And I have been for many months now. It's going to be a real bitch to go through the caffeine withdrawals, but it will get better in a few days, I know.
But, I don't think anyone in this country values a damn thing. Nothing is worth anything. Just worth something if they can resell it for whatever addictions they may be feeding.
People are just human capital now, and the things they own are only worth the moments of energy they can get from burning it at the waste to energy facility, to power their televisions and their tablets so they can continue to be brainwashed and keep everything exactly how it is.
2:14 PM - Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2020
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