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teeth of the lion

Apparently, seven weeks is the cut off limit for myself to stop trying the herbal remedies and give into the western medicine. I always feel like such a failure. And then I start to feel better when the drugs kick in.

My husband says that the illness does not come from nature, so nature can't heal it. Maybe so. It's both comforting and terrifying.

I don't see why I am getting infections (sinus, this time) one after the other, infections that I've never had before in my life

except that where I live is a toxic cesspool. We are bound to be the next Flint, Michigan. Just wait. You'll see. All the chemicals, animal waste laden with antibiotics and sickness, the air pollution, the un-used medications in the water supply, the sulfite mining, the heavy metals....

life sure ain't what it used to be.

I have been more sick this past year than I have in about 20 years. I really can not remember being this ill, this often. Yeah stress. Whatever. Who isn't stressed out?

I still think of getting that degree in Comparative Alternative Medicine (with a major in Herbalism). But then I wonder, is that really relevant to this world anymore? Aside from personal enrichment, would I be able to use that knowledge and that degree to do anything with my life and be able to help people? Could I help people lessen their dependence on pharmaceuticals? Do people even want to be helped in that way?

Part of me thinks I just fucked up my immunity by abusing alcohol. But, I can't mention these sorts of ideas to my husband, anymore. Alcohol is his savior, and you don't win an argument with a born again in their own church.

5:18 PM - Thursday, Sept. 20, 2018

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