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that is why I got hooked on heroin
Making the same resolutions 90 per cent of Amerikans are making: eat better, exercise more. Drawing a word from my box of words to serve as a focus for meditation for the year. A new tradition?
I want to be down to around 130 pounds by this time 2010. I want to actually make gardening my hobby. Want to not use not having a vehicle as an excuse why I don't go the 5 miles to Quarry Hill. If I walked there, walked around, walked back, even every other week, I would get down to my goal weight real easy. Want to take the other bike paths late at night, sort of drunk, and see how far into the forests they go. I want to overcome my dependence on weed. I want to quit smoking. I want to overcome my addiction to refined sugar. I want to try to mow the lawn every week so my neighbor has NOTHING to bitch about. I want her to get hit by a truck in the grocery store parking lot.
I need to find a second therapist. Relaxation technique is fine and good, really, but I need someone to TALK to. Someone who, for once in my life, will actually LISTEN to what I have to say. A lifetime of being ignored or, when recognized, put down, adds up by the time someone is 32.
I have been clenching my fists since I was six years old and
1:04 PM - Thursday, Dec. 31, 2009
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