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treasure hunt

It's been kind of an emotional day for me. I decided to look for my Grandpa's Fedora Hats in the attic today. I got them after he died when I was a teenager, and I used to wear them a lot. I found them when we first moved in here, but I couldn't remember if I had kept them or donated them.

I did find them, which made me happy. If it ever cools off here, I'll probably wear them again. If I ever go outside, that is.

I also found a box of family history. Old papers, programs, newspaper articles. I found out that my maternal Grandmother lived with her husband on an army base in Washington state for awhile. Found out that my Grandpa fought Nazis in Austria and Germany and carried a real pressed 4 leaf clover with him into battle. I found the clover with his Army patches and pins (and you know that's going on my key chain). I discovered that my mom was born while he was in Europe. When he got back, he worked for an ice cream parlor, and later he and my Grandma bought the store and ran it. Later on, they owned a Hardware store. I found out that my Grandma went to college in Waterloo, Iowa, and she was in several plays when she was in high school.

All I had ever heard about my Grandpa was that he was a drunk and died at age 42 from liver sclerosis. Now I wonder, if PTSD wasn't a huge part in why he had such a bad drinking problem. I mean, fighting Nazis in Germany couldn't have been a good time. And having to come back to a family and switch gears automatically like that must have been hard.

I also found a box of old decorations, a lot of which were handmade by my mom and that I remember being hung around the house when I was a kid.

I found a box of vintage linens, most of which were hand-embroidered by my Grandma. That made me really happy, I LOVE vintage linens. And ones that were made by my Grandma make it really special. Towels and pillowcases mostly, but some table cloths, too.

I have no idea how we originally decided what was going to get shoved back into the attic and what wasn't. I know we were overwhelmed when we got here, and I "rage purged" more than I probably should have. We had no room to sort anything, no room to move, hardly. I don't remember seeing any of these boxes before today, so, today was kind of like a treasure hunt.

It is so weird to be surrounded by peoples' things, when the people are no longer here.

I really don't see much point to this life. We live it, we die. Other people go through our belongings. A lot of it gets thrown away. The meaning of things gets thrown away. Those of us that chose not to have children, especially, disappear almost altogether. And that's OK.

Everyone disappears within a few generations or so. But their stuff, it outlives them. It goes on almost forever.

And the dead still get junk mail. I wonder how long things addressed to me will be in the mail system after I kick the bucket?

5:41 PM - Saturday, Sept. 28, 2024

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