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roses from shit
Little by little I am learning to say good-bye to my life. To this place I have called my home for 14 years. To just uproot myself would be too much shock. Just like a tree. No matter how rotten the soil is around me.
This time next year I won't be here and I won't be me. I'll be a newer, exciting version of myself. Yet, always layered on top of all the scars of my personas. Like compost.
I have learned that I have a lot of trouble letting go. Even when it is probably for the best. I don't have a problem with commitment. I have a problem with...whatever the opposite of that is.
I put all of myself into everything I do. Too much. I too easily give too much. And it hurts so much when that gets taken away; when it has to be abandoned.
I try to see the positive. I try to look forward to the coming journey and all the good I will be able to do.
And fuck them all. I am taking some of my plants with me. Because they are alive and share part of my life. And because I can. So I will.
It will help ease the transition. And I need help because there have been so many changes lately.
4:14 PM - Sunday, May. 06, 2018
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