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annuity
Yesterday was weird. Today even weirder. I can't stop my hands from shaking. Everything is falling down the rabbit hole. That crazy spinning madness when you are tumbling every which way and you can't see what's going on around you. You don't know where you are going to land and it's terrifying.
Walked into an interview, walked out with a start date and a schedule. Just sat in the car confused as to what had just happened.
I obviously don't get to be unemployed.
Am I seriously supposed to go to my old job tomorrow? I am going only so I can get paid to pick up my personal belongings from my locker. Fuck next weekend. They can kiss my ass.
Things I've only half dreamed of being real now have the certainty of happening on a compressed timeline.
What am I supposed to do now? I have no idea. This is all beyond my scope of dealing. I have never been the kind of person who needs to “contact a financial advisor before continuing further.”
My parents dealt with some seriously fucked up plumbing issues for over 50 years, and now I just laugh and laugh. Why the hell didn't they get them fixed? It was obviously well within their means.
It's just that special kind of crazy that makes up my family.
I was just getting over missing my mom and dad. Not really, but it was getting a little easier.
Now I am getting all kinds of mail and phone calls every day. More and more. Daily reminders that I never get to speak with either of them again.
I get so angry. I just got over my childhood shit. They just started writing me in the last few years. I missed them. I was going to visit them this summer. No. matter. What.
It's not fair.
And it just makes it hurt worse.
Should be really happy. Basically won the fucking lottery.
Just want to crawl into a hole. Hibernate like those turtles.
Who is going to take care of those turtles?
5:38 PM - Friday, Mar. 09, 2018
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