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so

I have to go back to work tomorrow and it's bringing me down. That place is a complete shithole. It's infested with vermin of both the insect and human variety.

Oh, it's so sad to have to go there. I listen to those assholes talk to me, and I stare into their vacant puffy faces, and I wonder what the fuck I am doing there. All the women who work there relied on someone else to support them, then they got screwed and now they are scrubbing toilets and growing bitter like overripe grapes on a very old grapevine.

Most of them honestly could not do anything else but what they do and they are going to do it until the day they die. Cannon fodder. Waste of space. Brain dead hairless monkeys. I don't belong there. I'm just not high functioning enough to be anywhere else.

I wonder if I brought up Standing Rock if any of those co-worker bitches would even know what I am talking about.

I did absolutely nothing with my time off work. I did dishes and laundry almost every single day. I finally got the garden hoses put away.

I am a professional time waster. There are so many things to do that it makes me do nothing. Young people do art and write because they have the time to do so. Adults stop doing these things because they have to go out and get real jobs in the real world and it not only takes up all your time, it sucks out your soul. I make sure I give myself more time than the average adult but still I don't create enough.

When you are an adult, you have to prioritize. Have to get organ-izized. You have to compromise and it hurts like fucking hell. Little by little you decide what is important to you and what is not. And if you decide that something is important to you that no one else values, then you are fucked.

That's how I've been feeling. Fucked. Fucked over. Screwed.

No time. No rights. No empathy. No nothing of any of it at all.

2:31 PM - Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2016

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