-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
essay titled why summer sucks it
I hate the summer. The only good thing about it is all the fresh food. Being able to step outside to my back yard and get dinner is a luxury I don't want to ever take for granted. Having the farmer's market less than 4 blocks from the house is also wonderful. And all the farmers give us free food and discounted food. I don't know why. They are just nice people.
Reasons why I fucking hate the summer:
1. The sun stays up way too late in the day. Until 9:30 or so at the peak of it. That means people are out later, and it's harder to get to sleep because of their fucking car exhaust and noise and general fuckassery. It's total mania out there from Memorial day to Labor day. I hate living so far north. In the winter, it's the total opposite. The sun sets by 5 PM and it's quieter and cleaner and you go out and it's like you're in snowglobe fairy land. In the winter I can think and I can breathe and I get inspired to make all sorts of art. In the summer, I am just trying to survive. I focus on gardening. Yard work. House repairs. Anything so I can get through another few months of hell. But I don't do much art. And that in itself depresses me.
2. Everyone is using gas powered fuckitall machines. Lawn mowers and weed whackers and leaf blowers. Whoever invented the leaf blower needs to be publicly executed. That is the stupidest, most pointless machine ever invented. It doesn't do anything but make a ton of noise. We have an electric mower, and it's awesome. So much easier to use than the old school push mower, and it's quiet, and it doesn't pollute my yard and my surroundings. I don't know why more people don't use electric rechargeable yard machines. They are amazing. But they don't. And I have to listen to people using machines that don't really work and you can hear and smell them from 2 blocks away. I don't know how someone can push something around that is belching out gray smog and is that loud. But then again, I don't have a car.
3. And the heat. My god. The heat. And humidity. I had a few job interviews lately, and I fucked up and walked there. I should have sprung for a cab, because by the time I got there my entire face was red and I was dripping sweat. When you walk somewhere for real in the summer, people act like you are on crack or something. If I had been wearing exercise clothes and panting like a sick dog, that would be ok, but if you incorporate your exercise into real life, you're just fucking insane.
4. If someone gathered up a group of people and gassed them, that would be genocide or terrorism or whatever catch phrase you want to use nowadays. But if the government sprays people at whim and random with a lovely cocktail of herbicides and pesticides that are PROVEN to be neurotoxins and cause cancer...well, that's just business as usual. I HATE living in a state that is owned my Monsanto. They GIVE the state and city governments here free chemicals to spray on people. Then they spray them without warning in public areas like bike paths and farmers markets and playgrounds. Tell me, WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I hate summer. It makes my mental illness just go through the roof. My husband gets all manic, but I just get sad. Then sadder. Then it's hard to even get out of bed. And if I do go out, I walk. And I want to walk right in front of a fucking bus. Dealing with his mania and everyone else's mania is usually too much. Is it fall yet? Because this year I really wonder if I am going to make it until then.
6:31 PM - Sunday, Jul. 17, 2016
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------