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multiple choice

As far as I see it, there are two options in my life.

Either I die early from an alcohol related illness like my grandpa from liver sclerosis at 42 or like my oldest brother who has stage 3 liver cancer at 43 or my grandma who kept warm beer in her room and died of breast cancer...


OR

I just fucking kill myself. Which lately I think about pretty much every day. I just need a really long vacation and the only way I will get that is death.

The only reason I haven't done it yet, is because I've seen how sad it makes people you leave behind. But, I know in two years or less, they get over you and move on because

Life is for the living

and there isn't much else to say about that.

Going to go back to psychiatrists and fake take their drugs to try to get on SSDI. I only work 20-25 hours a week and it's really hard. Hard enough to make me want to kill myself. That many hours a week is not enough to support yourself. I just have to make the fucks in the government agree.

BTW,

I never drank until I started this horrible job 5 years ago. And I'm 36, so do the math.


AND

I am going to look into little BS things like HR certificates at the business college and 2 year ASS degrees at the community college. Just in case I can't prove to the Boys that I'm crazy and deserve to get paid to keep me off the streets.

If I have to work the rest of my life, I don't think my life will be very long.

I had to clean up puke today that was the color of shit and was

all

over

the

place.

If I have to keep doing this, I will die young from option A or option B.

And deep down, I would really like to choose option C.

5:50 PM - Saturday, Jul. 27, 2013

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