----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IOU nothing, bitches All I have to do is mention that things are rough and my parents send me money. It's like asking without having to ask. It's very generous of them. But then I always get an attitude and this sense that they own me. Passive-aggresive I think it's called. No wonder I always wanted to smother them in their sleep with a pillow when I was a teenager, and I left "home" by the time I was 18. I have not been to my hometown to visit my family in over 12 years. I was thinking I should really get down there next fall before people start dying, but now I wonder if the regret I would feel from not seeing them would be worse than the pain it will be to see them one last time. Do people really change, or do they just fake it to be polite? Fuck the parent-child relationship. It is, at its core, insanely fucked. If someone gives you a gift, it should not have strings attached. I think being on FB is just too much like living in the same town as them. Contact with them every day. They bullied me into getting FB to begin with. Now it's like I can't get away. OCD making me check the damn thing every time I sit down the computer. I don't want to. I really don't. I do anyway. Haven't had booze in one week, and I am really proud of myself. I feel more like "me". Maybe if I took a break from that evil entity that is Farcebook, I would feel even better. Have some Ayahuasca coming in the mail. Need to kick the habits. Need to get out of my head by feeding my head. Come out the other side of this long, dark tunnel. And for once in my life, actually be happy. No strings attached. 10:43 AM - Monday, May. 27, 2013 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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