-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
slippery slippery slippery slippery slope
Got a PM from FB from a guy I grew up with. Called the street we grew up on "the old neighborhood". Brought back lots of memories. Don't really like to think that far back because I don't like to think of how I was, how I am, how I really should be, but am not.
Always striving to be a better person. Usually failing miserably.
Not sure how someone who knew me when I was six years old would react to the adult I am now. Guess you are always you, but that's not exactly true.
The more people change, the more they stay the same?
I think I am just a big asshole. But, then again, I think that I probably am not because I think I am. Worried about losing your mind means you are probably sane or some other sort of bullshit.
Been fighting a lot of demons. Anxiety has been so bad it's been hard to get to work. Heart palpitations. Sweating. Hands shaking so bad I can't hold onto anything. I absolutely hate my job but I don't think there is anything else I can do better. At least (the very least) I get a set day shift schedule. Good luck finding that at any other shit job.
Been trying to eat better. Drink less. Spent too much on food and have been having horrible headaches, shakiness. The vague withdrawals of addiction are absolutely no fun. The best way to avoid a hangover is to keep drinking.
Got laundry spoiling in the washer. Should really go hang it up to dry.
Haven't had a dryer since 2007. Right after we got the house, all the appliances stopped working. First the fridge, then the dryer, then the washer, then the oven. Decided a dryer was not really important when you have an entire empty basement where you can hang clothes up to dry.
Some call it being environmental. I just call it being fucking broke. Often poor people are the most environmental, just because they can't afford the little luxuries that appear to make life easier, but in the end just make life barely able to exist.
In the end, I am terribly hard on myself.
1:19 PM - Wednesday, Mar. 27, 2013
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------