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the creak of rotten floorboards in my heart

What is it that drives me back here?

Not finding a dead guy.
Not being dead broke.

Just a smiling face and a little baby.

A baby.

googoogagalittlemotherfuckingbabygirl.

My disappointment hurts. Don't know why I thought things would be like they were before.

Everyone is progressing except me.

Everyone is growing up. I'm just growing old.

What is it that drives me back here?

Hitched a ride on that beat up truck that is alone-ness.

Can't tell this to anyone, so I tell it to every. one.

Just yesterday I was getting more info about sterilization, and today I find out he has a little daughter.

That neon sign on the dingy hotel that is my memory reads "you always knew you were a bad match".

But still. I am going to dig out the ink drawings and put them on my wall.

Like a memorial to the person he was, the person I was, and the times that are fading fast.

5:56 PM - Friday, Sept. 23, 2011

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