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the creak of rotten floorboards in my heart
What is it that drives me back here?
Not finding a dead guy.
Not being dead broke.
Just a smiling face and a little baby.
A baby.
googoogagalittlemotherfuckingbabygirl.
My disappointment hurts. Don't know why I thought things would be like they were before.
Everyone is progressing except me.
Everyone is growing up. I'm just growing old.
What is it that drives me back here?
Hitched a ride on that beat up truck that is alone-ness.
Can't tell this to anyone, so I tell it to every. one.
Just yesterday I was getting more info about sterilization, and today I find out he has a little daughter.
That neon sign on the dingy hotel that is my memory reads "you always knew you were a bad match".
But still. I am going to dig out the ink drawings and put them on my wall.
Like a memorial to the person he was, the person I was, and the times that are fading fast.
5:56 PM - Friday, Sept. 23, 2011
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