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the last two weeks

Neighbor got a tresspass warning against her, from me. Via the cops. She insists on getting drunk, stumbling into my yard, and calling me a "fucking bitch" and blaming me for everything from her husband having cancer to wild ducks sleeping in my yard. Obviously, I am "always causing trouble" or something to that effect. I have never said more than two words to her in the 7 years I've lived here. Anyway, one more time and she gets a tresspass ticket and once more after that, it's jail time. I haven't seen her and I hope I don't again.

A squirrel died in my yard. Not just finding a dead one, but actually sitting next to it as it died over the course of 24 hours. I found it with back legs that wouldn't work and a deep gash in its throat. It was crawling around, getting stuck on its back like a beetle. Blood covering all the violets. Looking up at me with a mixture of fear and pleading for help. If I were a stronger person I would have killed it, put it out of its misery, but I couldn't. And I hate myself for that. Husband had to literally come into the yard and drag me away from it. I just didn't want it to die alone. It did anyway. Once of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. I vowed to go back to being vegan because of that. It's the only good thing I can think to come out of it.

We had a tenant lined up but she did not one, but TWO no shows when she was supposed to come sign the lease. The last time we called her, some guy answered so my instinct tells me she found some sucker to let her stay with him in exchange for whatever, but it's probably not money. Almost everyone who has come here to look at the apartment has had a kid or two or three. Or this place just isn't yuppie enough for them No dishwasher and all that. So, we are going into month two with no renter. I will be pretty bummed out if we have to choose between drug addicts who are dumb enough to get themselves shot, or people who are dumb enough to have kids. I would almost rather work more than deal with that shit.

And that means a lot.

We planted our new bushes and vines today. Soaked them overnight last night and they popped out lots of new buds by the morning, so that's an encouraging sign. It feels good to put more life into the yard. Anything to make up for that dead squirrel and this new oil spill.

At least I'm not one of the ones driving this shit on.

Hearing voices pretty regularly, seeing colors. The schizophrenic expert in the house seems to be concerned. He's on new drugs, the world still turns.

11:13 AM - Thursday, May. 06, 2010

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