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i am done
-with doctors. Just my annual exam, because if I want birth control drugs, they make me. Other than that, doctors don't know shit. They don't help. Western medicine is all about treatment, nothing at all about a cure. They don't care why you have something, they'll just give you drugs to treat the symptoms. That isn't going to help, in the long run. You have to find out why something is occuring, you have to get to the source.
-with people. Fuck it. Fuck them. I don't think I am ever going to make new friends, and most of me doesn't even want to. No one ever listens to me, they just talk over me, or I have to repeat the same thing over and over and over and over. If they do hear me, they don't understand. I am sick of having to explain myself or defend myself or of being misunderstood. Everyone is always stuck in their own head with their own problems and even though making contact with others is probably our only real salvation, I don't think there's any real hope of that happening anymore. We are all connected all the time, but just like the doctors' care, it is superficial and unreal. The more we talk, the less we have to say. I find myself not talking for days now. I like it more and more. Silence is my new drug of choice.
1:22 PM - Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010
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