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beefcake

The �I want� sentences are poisoning every vein in my body. It�s hard to stop thinking them.

I want to be free of want.

This time of year is pretty depressing. This winter has been very cold, very difficult. It�s hard to even walk down the street without effort because of the ridiculous amounts of snow and ice. Maybe I�ve lived in the Midwest too long, but this winter shit is really starting to get to me. Maybe it�s because I don�t have a car and it�s been �30 below wind chill and I have to be to work by 8 AM and it�s not even light out then and it�s dark by the time I get home at 4:30 PM.

Adding to the bleak weather is the anxiety of tenants (assholes) who put their dirty moldy dishes in garbage bags and leave them on the stairs for 3 months just to be kicked down the stairs time and time again until the landlord (me) finally throws them all in a box and says come and get them or they are going in the trash. And then the tenant has a seizure and I just have to say,

what. the. fuck.

?

Doing the budget in January is always a bad idea, but it always has to be done, and there will be no more good times, no more candy, and at least 25 minutes of aerobic exercise every single day up and down the basement stairs. Not what I want to do, but what needs to be done.

The word I pulled from my magic word box for 2010 was

spontaneity.

9:46 PM - Monday, Jan. 11, 2010

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