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just say yes
The harshest chemical in my house is my shampoo.
My trip to the health food store last week is still affecting me. I get tired of feeling a Psychotic break just about to happen.
My husband's psychiatrist is now on my shit list. She was pissed he took himself off the antidepressant and said he should think about going back to work if he is doing so well. She either is very vindictive (a bad trait for someone in her profession) or she is incompetent and knows NOTHING about someone with schizophrenia and anxiety disorders. I just hope his psychologist can help him feel better tomorrow because that comment about going back to work upset me more than it did him and I can't be of much help. My instinct was to go there and get in her fat face and cause trouble. Instead I hid and watched TV shows for 3 days.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I've asked for a ton of days off this month, even though we really need the money. We're going to Minneapolis on the 25th to see Saul Williams, even though we can't afford it. But I just need to get out of this town and see that not everything and everyone is like Rochester.
I fear I am really really depressed. I try to say it's the hell weather, but it was sunny yesterday and I closed the curtains and watched netflix. I fear that I am just waiting for the big change to come when I can justify selling this property and living more like I truly want to. Every time I turn around someone wants money for something about this place, and the responsibility and the ache of it not being how I want it to be.
I want zero liability for my place in the universe.
1:32 PM - Thursday, Oct. 08, 2009
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