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fuck you
My stomach is in knots. Everything I eat makes me feel like throwing up. And I feel weird in every way. Really, really, weird. Like I'm going to have a seizure or something bad. I feel like I'm going to pass out.
It's been almost 2 weeks since we've had any weed, and that's the longest I've gone in years without smoking. It helps my anxiety and digestion so much.
Everything that helps me live my life is illegal.
I get really pissed off about that.
I have to work tomorrow. I am really scared about going there feeling this way. If I have another break down, I don't think they will ignore it this time.
But I can't let my family down.
How the fuck did I get here? This is too much responsibility for someone like me to have. I don't like it. Don't want it.
I just want to get high and stay high all the time. Now I know what that feels like for people. Nothing else is as rewarding.
1:42 PM - Friday, Sept. 04, 2009
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